My mom made me post this, haha, because we both were laughing so hard as I told her the story. The sad, pathetic, “are you kidding me?!” story of how I was late to my Zumba workout class after work. Say ZUMBA! It’s a fun word. Zuuumba!
*Disclaimer* I have left out the plethora of swear words and direct mentions of people who may read this, which were told in the original story, haha.
Ok, so I knew I had this class after work, but had plenty of time to get home by 5:00pm, make myself some dinner to eat and have time to digest before the 6:30pm class.
Ended up having to stay late at work until 5:00pm, instead of 4:30pm. OK….still will have time…eat fast/less…right before I head out the door, I am attacked Office Space style with one last task. I speed through it. OK…still only like 5:08pm. This is workable.
I get home, and all we have is leftover macaroni and cheese (nice light snack, right? Idiot.) So I decide to sauté some spinach and mushrooms to add to the mix (eating MORE food?!). They are taking too long, so I go watch TV. Well, the veggies burn! The kitchen reeks of burnt food. I run around turning all the fans on. Scarf down my food (oh, I ate the burned veggies, haha) way too fast, and eat way too much; washing it down with about a gallon of water! Great. Now I am way too full AND have to go exercise. Moron. Not feeling up to wearing my spandex pants and fitted tank (after said jumbo meal), I throw on some sweat pants and a tshirt, and start to head out the door. Only about 5 or 10 minutes later than I wanted to. OK, I just might make this work.
Nope. Remembered I didn’t know how to get there! Run over to my computer and Google random Zumba phrases until I find the right location…got it!...Google maps……yeah, that looks like the right directions; same as the one other time I went. OK, save the directions in the Navigation in my phone, and bolt out the door!
Proceed to auto-pilot my way 5 minutes in the direction of MY WORK, instead of the way to the class! WHAT?! You’ve got to be kidding me. Well, I should have just turned around, but I figured I had gone pretty far, and remembered one cross street that connected that street with the one I needed to be on.
Find the street. Turn right. OK, we can make this happen!....keep going….hmm, I hope the street is coming up soon….wow this is really far…..through horse pastures and rural areas?!...come oooon! WHERE is it?!.....
OK, OK, fiiinally I find my street! And I am back on track. 6:19pm
Small chance I can still make it there at a fashionably late time.
Keep trucking along. Traffic and red lights galore. Hit every single light.
OK, almost to the point when I need my phone to Navigate the rest of the directions for me.
I remember some of it from the other time I went, but not every turn.
Almost time to look at the directions……….oh. My phone freezes!!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! My phone freezes all the time. I have to yank out the battery, and re-insert it to re-boot the phone. …which takes about 5 minutes. Awesome.
Driving along…figuring out my way well enough…really needing the directions soon for the next couple turns…..come on phone! Go faster! Turn back on. …just TURN OOOONNN. …turn on….NOW! …what about….NOW!......now???..
One actual wrong turn, and U-Turn later, the phone finally turns back on, and through some miracle, let’s me jump right in to the Navigation system, without freezing yet again.
Get right back into my directions, find my way to the class. Text my friend letting her know I am running late, and she offers to save me a spot.
…right in the front and center of the class. :) Awesome…
Well, I made it. Not much more than 5 minutes late. But seriously…could anything else have gone wrong?! Sheesh.
So there. There is my reenactment of the story.